


yardwork

by ozzy (pocoyoDespairing)



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Chase is soft boi, Dark is so done, Don't Try This At Home, Fainting, M/M, Pyromania, Salty Googleplier, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, aNTI NO-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocoyoDespairing/pseuds/ozzy
Summary: Why Anti Should Never Be Allowed To Rake Leaves, Everwould also be a good title, but that's none of my business.
Relationships: Antisepticeye/Darkiplier (implied?)
Comments: 116
Kudos: 36





	1. Raked In

Anti looked down at the green plastic rake that Dark had plopped into his hands. He looked back up at said male. His eye twitched a little.

"Really?" he hissed... for the fifth time.

Dark nodded (apparently, the loss of the will to live gave one a patience deeper than anything imaginable, as he was still unphased). "I believe your complaint was that you were bored, so I gave you something to do."

Anti glared at him, then threw the rake down. "You're kidding me! I am _not_ working like a slave!"

Dark shrugged. He placed a bottle of lighter fluid and a box of matches on the porch railing. "It's your choice.

"However, if you _do_ decide to get it done, you can have the privilege of burning the leaf piles."

 _That_ made Anti falter. He picked the rake up, never taking his eyes off of Dark. He was still scowling, but there was a sudden ferocious glow in his black eyes that made Dark regret saying everything he had just told the demon. But Dark knew that there was no turning back, so he stayed silent.

"Alright. _Fine!_ " Anti huffed. "I'll do it." He paused, then snorted and grinned. "But if you expect me to enjoy it, then you're a real wide-o, you hear me?"

Dark only shook his head in response, impatience finally seeping through his stoic composure.

"Just do it," he said, and went back inside before Anti could respond.

Light was standing in the entryway of the Manor when Dark closed the front door behind him, and he favored his opposite with an anxious look.

"What happened?" he asked.

Dark told him. When he finished, the angel let out a terrified gasp, and- in a swirl of feathers- fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Dark looked curiously at his unconscious form, then nodded in understanding.

"Yes," he said. "I know."

* * *

"Beautiful," Anti panted.

He was out of breath, his hair sweaty and messed-up, but the yard was pristine. He hadn't dealt with raking multiple piles, however; the leaves were in one huge bon-pile at the center of the yard, twice the demon's height and the size of a small swimming pool.

Anti stood in front of it now, a strange dopey dream-like smile on his face, the handle of the rake held tight in one grimy fist like the hilt of a sword. There was a smaller pile of lighter fluid bottles behind him. (Dark had only given him one bottle, of course, so he had had to duplicate it a few dozen times; this was partly because that one little bottle wasn't nearly enough for what he had in store, and partly because he had gotten thirsty halfway through and began to drink the stuff.)

Anti flung the rake into the pile, then pushed the box of matches open with his fist. Red-tipped wooden sticks flew everywhere; he snagged one and yanked it across the strike on the side of the box. It bloomed into flame with a hiss.

Holding it up to his face so that the flame danced reflections into his eyes, Anti laughed breathlessly. He tossed the burning match indifferently into the pile of soaked leaves, leaves that were wet not with water but with countless gallons of lighter fluid.

The resulting inferno was heard just as it was felt and seen. It rose into the sky with a whooshing roar. Anti watched it with wonder.

Then, he picked up one of the fuller fluid bottles and took a swig.


	2. Very Proud

Chase didn't know what he was doing in the kitchen. In fact, the last place he remembered being was one of the upstairs hallways- a _long_ walk from where he was now.

Was he _that_ out of touch, already? What was he doing in the kitchen?

It was a good thing that he was in the kitchen.

A glint of orange light caught his eye. It brought him to the window over the sink. He looked out. His eyes widened.

When he rushed into the den, only Light, Dark, and Google were there. They all turned to him, Google and Dark expectantly, Light nervously.

"I thought so," Dark said, just as Light asked, "What did he do?" They had both seen the expression on his face.

"The yard's on fire," Chase croaked.

Dark only nodded; Google smirked, both amused and skeptical. Light, however, uttered a small scream. It was more of a yelp than anything, but it made the room fall silent.

"The yard is... really on fire?" Light finally asked. Chase nodded. The angel half-rose from his chair, winced like he'd been stabbed, then fell back into it. He'd been nursing a cup of tea and a slice of unbuttered toast, trying to recover from his previous fainting spell; his teacup fell to the floor and shattered. At the noise, Light's hands flew to his throat, as if to grasp for air.

"He... set the yard... on fire!" he exclaimed. He laughed like it was the funniest thing, then grimaced. His hands fell into his lap just as his jaw touched his chest. His entire body slumped back against his chair.

Dark sighed. Light had fainted. _Again_.

"Chase," Dark said. "Take care of him, will you?"

He gestured to the unconscious angel. Chase nodded quickly, then hurried over to kneel by Light's side. Dark then turned to Google, pretending not to notice when the android rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess," Google sneered. "You want me to call the fire department?"

"That is exactly what I want you to do," Dark replied coldly. Google opened his mouth to object, but relented when a glitch ran through his systems, sending an agonizing twitch down his body. He bit back a hiss.

"Your wish is my command, then," he said. His tone was sweet, but dripped with acid. He flashed Dark a final 'you're-going-to-get-it-when-this-is-over-with' smile before going into the other room to make the call.

Dark gave Chase a parting nod before going outside to deal with Anti, not turning to see if he returned it.

* * *

When Dark stepped outside, a torrent of smoke and heat greeted him. He groaned inwardly. It didn't affect him like it would a human, but it was nevertheless unpleasant.

Chase wasn't exaggerating, it seemed. The yard _was_ on fire. Tongues of flames licked up the sides of trees; there were entire areas of grass where it looked as if Anti had just doused the ground in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. When Dark's eyes found the giant flaming leaf-pile and the figure standing in front of it, they widened.

Dark rushed over to Anti at a fast walk rather than a run. He grabbed the demon by the shoulder, spun him around, almost did a double take when he saw the shape Anti was in.

The demon had been taking a sip of lighter fluid when Dark grabbed him- the bottle was still at his lips, but a small dribble of clear liquid dripped down his soot-streaked chin. The neck of his t-shirt was soaked with blood from his throat, as he was a heavy bleeder when it came to exertion. (No amount of bandaging could stop it, either; he and the other egos had learned _that_ the hard way.)

Not to mention his eyes- his _eyes_! They glowed with a fierce joy. Dark had never seen Anti this happy before, and it scared him.

"Hey," Anti said, as casually as he would if Dark had just strolled up beside him. He followed the male's gaze to the bottle in his hand and held it out in offering.

"Want some? It's not too bad."

Dark took it, but not to drink. He set it on the ground behind him.

"What did you do?" he asked.

Anti blinked, then smiled. "Isn't it obvious? I did what you told me to do."

"The yard is in flames."

The demon looked around. "Oh, _that?"_ He looked at Dark, still smiling. "Well, you _did_ say that I could burn the piles."

Dark opened his mouth to respond, but the sound of a siren rose in the smoky air before he could. It was a blessing, of sorts; arguing with Anti was useless in any situation, as you were bound to get only a headache for your efforts.

Said demon raised an eyebrow. "Is that what I think it is?"

Dark nodded. "Yes, indeed. Are you proud of yourself?"

Anti beamed. "Very. I'm going to go get washed up now." Then, he stood on tiptoe, pecked Dark on the cheek. "Love you!"

Dark turned to watch him head back inside. In the distance, the siren grew louder.

"Of course you're proud of yourself," he said quietly.

"Of course you are."


End file.
